{Always}

Always. There is something daunting about that word. Perhaps it is the amount of times it is used in ones life, and how many times "always" turns out to be a week, a month, or a year. Perhaps it is the slightly reminiscent sting of a love that was going to last "always" or a friend that would "always" be there. Always is not just a word. It is a promise. Always doesn't have circumstances or requirements, it means here and now, then and there, anytime and anywhere. (Sorry just went all Dr. Seuss on y'all) But seriously. When I think about the word "always" I think about how it has gained a sarcastic reputation throughout the years. Many people have fallen in love and been heartbroken under the premise of "Always." Many have sunken into the cozy safeness of "always" only to find a shallow bottom where the "always" ended.

Matthew 28:19-20 says "Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

WOAH. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT LAST PART IS PRETTY INTENSE?

I feel like the "That escalated quickly" internet meme could totally apply here. We just completely passed Whitney Houston (And Iiiiiiiiiiii-eeeee---Iiiii will alwayssss loveeee youuuuuu-whooooooo......anyone?) and went to JESUS ALWAYS. Jesus Always is a whole different ball park of always. We pass up the sappy love song always, the middle school crush always, the Coca Cola always (youtube it), and every other realm of always and went to "Until the end of the age" always. The TRUE always. The always that means no matter what. And I don't know about you but when I read that verse I didn't see a list of conditions. There was no fine print underneath specifying a level of holiness you have to maintain in order to receive this eternal partnership, there is no church you have to be a member of, no church group participation necessary, and no checklist of deeds to be done before Jesus will be with you always.

Always doesn't have a starting point either! Many people misunderstand that word to mean "always: after you accept Jesus". No! Always means from the beginning to the end. Always.

That means when God created you He did not send you down here and wait until you decided to go looking for Him later on in your life. He stayed with you! Just as a shepherd stays with his sheep, our Lord has stayed with us from the beginning and He will continue to be with us until the end! THAT. Is always. Until the end of the age. The END of the age. Not the end of YOUR age, but the end of THE age. He will stay with us no matter what. THAT is a safety net that you can sink into, one that knows no end. THAT is a song worth singing. 

I just cannot get over how awesome that is. God, the most holy and awesome being. The King of Kinds and Lord of Lords. Creator of heaven and earth. The I Am. Will be with me always. Until the end of the age. He walks with me. He whispers to me when I am lost and leads me back. He holds my hand when I need comfort, He picks me up when I fall, and He carries me when I cannot walk. He listens to every word I speak to Him. He makes a way for me. He has a plan for me. He loves me. Always.

If that is not the most beautiful love story in the history of the world, I don't know what is.

Our God is amazing. Always.

Love and Blessings,
K

{The Beginning: My Faith Journey & Call To Ministry}

This morning I had a job interview, *fingers crossed* and therefore I was begging for God's ear starting at about 8:30 A.M... I am praying for favor and discernment, this job would be a wonderful ministry opportunity, I would be working in a hospital with mostly geriatric patients as well as all other age groups. The job also has great benefits, great pay, AND I would get to wear SCRUBS. Which lets face it, is like wearing pajamas to work, who doesn't want to do that?? The down side would be that this job is a full time position and it would definitely be a lot to take on with school this semester, so giving this one to God and praying He will lead me on the right path.

Now, getting to the reason for this post, my faith journey and call to ministry. Today I will be meeting with my District Superintendent to discuss declaring candidacy and to discuss my plans for the future. For this meeting I had to write a one page later describing my call to ministry and my journey living into that call so far. I realized that I had not yet posted on here about this particular subject so I thought it would be a great time to go ahead and post this! This is the exact letter that I will be giving to my DS today.

" I first felt my call to ministry in 6^th grade during a Beth Moore bible study. During praise and worship before the bible study began I heard the word “teacher” in a loud and clear voice. For the next few years I tried to understand what kind of teacher God wanted me to be. I went back and forth between a college professor, elementary school teacher, or high school teacher. Then when I was fourteen I was sitting with my mother and she gave me a “Spiritual Gifts” test. Afterwards we were looking at the results and I had tested high in missions, teaching, and several other categories. My mother asked me what I thought this meant, I told her I wasn’t sure. She then asked if I had ever considered being a pastor. I said “who, me? I’m a girl!” My mom looked at me and said “So? Women can be ministers too!” I had grown up going to Baptist and Assemblies of God churches, so the idea of a woman being a pastor completely threw me. I told her I would pray about it.

                Later that month my mom came to me and told me she had talked to our Pastor, Reverend Roger T. at a Sunday school Christmas party. She said he had approached her and told her he had a dream about our family, he thought he was supposed to get closer to our family and that it had something to do with me. He asked her if I had ever thought about going into the ministry. She told him that I had just recently began to think about it but that I hadn’t said anything to her about it since the night of the spiritual gifts test. 

                When my mother told me about this conversation I became overcome with sobs. I couldn’t manage to say anything, only lift up a finger to her to signal her to wait until I could speak. We sat there for almost five minutes before I could speak. I finally calmed down and was able to tell her why I was so emotional. I told her how that night of the spiritual gifts test I had gone into my room and prayed that if the Lord wanted me to be a minister that He would have someone in authority over me recognize that call on my life. This amazing answer to my prayer made it very clear to me that this was what God wanted me to do with my life.

                The next few weeks I became a little skeptical on this plan for my life. I prayed to God again and asked Him that if ordained ministry was the plan for my life, if He wanted me to preach and to be in a church that He would give me an opportunity to live this out. A chance to practice this and make sure this was what I was supposed to do. The next day Pastor Roger called me and asked me to do a dual sermon with him in church, the date of our sermon was to be my parents and grandparents wedding anniversary.

                All of this occurred when I was fourteen years old, four years ago. Since then I have been jumping at any chance to serve, at my local church, in the district, in the conference, in any way possible. God has given me so many opportunities to serve and reaffirm my call. Every time I have been unsure about God’s plan for my life He has reaffirmed it and shown me how wonderful His plan is. I am so excited and feel so blessed to be able to serve Him in this way. "

 

This letter is the basic story. No fluff or fillings. This story is the game changer of my life and to be honest I don't think it needs any fluff. I get to do the thing that makes me the happiest I have ever been and ever will be for the REST OF MY LIFE. How cool is that? I get so excited just thinking about it!!! I cannot explain how happy and how full my life has been ever since I chose to follow God's call on my life. God has given me SO many opportunities to serve and to further my realization of how AWESOME His plan for me is! It is far better than any plan I could have EVER written for myself. And to think, I almost didn't do it because I thought girls couldn't. 

 

Lessons I have learned?

 

God doesn't call the "qualified" He qualifies the called.

 

Don't let anyone else give you a limitation, God didn't give you any, go where God leads you and trust in HIS plan for you.

 

The Will of God will not lead you where the Grace of God will not protect you. (My favorite quote, reminds me I have absolutely NO excuse to not do what God wants, He always has my back, and yours too!)

 

 

Love and Blessings,

K 

{IN the Wilderness}

I've been on the road! My grandmother and I picked up this past Friday and spent the weekend in Birmingham, Alabama with my cousin Lyndsay. I enjoyed SO much the time we got to spend with Lyndsay. She is already an ordained Baptist minister and I LOVED being able to talk with her about her journey through ordination and share with her our different views. We were able to do and see a lot over the weekend and of course we were able to EAT at some great places. Friday night we arrived at about 5 P.M. and after unloading and getting settled Lindsay took us to her favorite local sushi place. I LOVE sushi, I wish I would have taken a picture but alas I admit to being a bad blogger and failing to do so. BUT, I do have pictures of my AMAZING lunch on Saturday! 

We went to an AWESOME little restaurant called Urban Cookhouse. I ordered this lovely salad with fresh fruit all from local farms and feta cheese that was also made locally, as well as the lettuce! It was DELICIOUS! I wish we had an Urban Cookhouse in my town!

After lunch we shopped at a few local boutiques and shops, it was a really neat experience and really loved the atmosphere and the people in Birmingham.  P.S.- Downtown Birmingham is gorgeous and has a really great almost bohemian feel to it, the restaurants are all about buying and eating local. The whole downtown area is very fun and energetic!

Saturday night we stayed in downtown for dinner and ate at Cantina! it was a really fun Mexican restaurant snuggled in downtown Birmingham and the food was AMAZING. Also, if you're eating on a budget and in the area then eat here- SO CHEAP! Tacos for under 4$, and the guac is phenomenal! I loved this restaurant and would definitely go again!! 

Also on Saturday we made a trip to Whole Foods! If you know me then you know my absolute LOVE for Whole Foods and Central Market! I love eating organic and clean foods so stores like this are like the holy grail for me! I picked up some rice cakes, organic popcorn, a few different organic granola bars, and some sweet potato chips! All some of my favorites! 

Then after dinner we ventured to Books A Million and I picked up a new journal for only 5$ and then I picked up 2 books from the clearance section, one is Monday's With My Old Pastor by Jose Luis Navajo and the other is Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. These books both looked really interesting to me and I am excited to begin them this week! 

Now it is Sunday and after a LONG drive we have arrived at our destination. A beautiful cabin that is nestled in the mountains of North Carolina! It is GORGEOUS here! The mountains are truly awe inspiring and I had my camera on my lap the last hour of the trip while we were driving up the mountain. I cannot wait to blog about the rest of this trip! Right now I feel very cliche sitting in a bath robe (already at the cabin) in a cabin in the woods blogging. Cliche, but oh so happy. This trip was exactly what I have been needing. Can't wait to write all about it!

Love and Blessings,

K

{Deeper Still}

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you feel like the only possible thing left for you to do would be to take the longest shower on earth then crawl into your bed with 13 blankets, 9 pillows, with some cream soda and watch Band of Brothers and cry your eyes out? Anyone? No? Well we all probably have our own rock bottom, rehab for the soul technique. That is mine, and whatever yours may be we all know that feeling of hopelessness. Like it couldn't possibly get any better (or worse). Maybe you had a bad day, stubbed your toe, said a few bad words, shattered your iPhone, got in an argument with your best friend, and to top it all off burned your mac n cheese. Or maybe it was a bad week? Maybe you spent three days working on a project just to have it all fall apart at the end, then your battery on your car dies and you have to get a new one, and to top it ALL off you just found out your FAVORITE show on TV just got canceled. Maybe you've done something you're a little ashamed of. Or maybe it was just a bad year. You've spent so much time and effort building up your career only to be fired mid-year, you lost a close loved one, you're romantic relationship fell apart, and then you have to replace the air conditioner in your home. Now all that you can think is "this is it, I cannot possibly go any lower." Whatever the road it took to get you to rock bottom, once you are there then it seems pretty hard to get back up. I wish it could be like Gilmore Girls where Rory gets pretty low because she isn't accepted into the New York Times and she cannot seem to find a job, all it took was some food from Luke's Diner, a little shopping, and a heartfelt karaoke rendition of "I Will Always Love You" sang by her mother to pick her back up! Some cheering up from your friends and family can cure a bad day, or maybe even a bad week, but when you're really feeling low and worthless it's easy to sink deeper and deeper into depression. At times like this it doesn't matter how long you spend under the covers, or how many old war movies you watch, there is only one place to retreat, only one place you can go to seek sanctuary, under the Wings of your Savior.

 The picture above reminds me of that, that no matter how crummy I feel about myself or the way life is working out that God's love covers it. No matter how low I feel, God's love goes a little deeper, and a little farther. That the amazing thing about God's love, His love doesn't just cover our sins and our shame and our shortcomings, it goes a little farther. It covers every inch of us and then goes farther to cover the places around us, His love goes before us as we walk the path of life and is left behind us in His mercy every time we get back up when life knocks us down. God's love is SO vast and SO amazing that when we delve deep, deep, inside our lowest depths of despair and decide to wallow there for awhile God is there with us, His love knows no limits and cannot be contained to one place. When we are sinking to the bottom of the ocean of our problems God takes it one step further and meets us at the deepest, darkest bottom with open arms. Because He loves us and wants us to succeed.

So when you feel low and you can't seem to figure out how you could possibly get through what you are going through just look around, God is still there, you didn't sink so low that He cannot reach you. God is with you ALWAYS. Not just when you're happy, not just when you're worshipping, not just when you're succeeding, He is there with you in the struggle. He is there with you in the fire and in the hurt. He is there when you are crying and when you feel worthless. He is there whispering "You did not choose Me, but I chose you" (John 15:16). God CHOSE you. He CREATED YOU. Does a creator just abandon his creation? No! Like the picture below says, He loves us much too much to ever let us go. So whenever you are ready, He is right there with you, ready when you are. You just have to get up and get going.

Love and Blessings,
K

Time Spent With God

This picture has been in my camera roll for quite some time, I found it on Pinterest forever ago and every time I see it reminds me of something very important. It reminds me that any time with God is precious time spent. It took me time to remember that God is with me every step throughout the day, not just when I want him to be. This picture depicts the picture perfect (for some) devotional time. I imagine stormy weather, soft rolling thunder in the distance, David Crowder playing in the other room just loud enough to be audible, my favorite grande Starbucks Caramel Macchiato, and my "Jesus Calling" devotional set out with my highlighters to highlight the "best" verses. And of course, this is one way to worship and be in prayer, but on the days that the weather just won't cooperate with my devotional time or Starbucks (heaven forbid) runs out of coffee, can't God be in other places as well? Could God be in the car on the way to work? Or could we spend time with God at work whilst in prayer for our coworkers and boss? This photo reminds me that any time at all, in any place, with any people spent with God is not wasted, but in fact, wonderful time spent. 

Love and Blessings,

           -K